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Recruitment Woes April 2, 2010

Posted by Audit Monkey in Working Life in Britain.
Tags: ,

As the two regular readers of the blog will know, my current contract expires in the summer. So to avoid destitution, I thought I’d better dip my toe into the job market, so I rang up a recruitment agency the other day to get the ball rolling. Here’s an edited transcript of the ‘conversation’.

Telephonist, “Good morning, Shoddy Agency, can I help you?”

Audit Monkey, “Oh hello, is Recruitment Consultant Doris available please?”

Telephonist, “I’m sorry Recruitment Consultant Doris is out of the office today”.

Audit Monkey, “Has Recruitment Doris got a colleague who I could talk to?”

Telephonist, “Yes – er, it’s going to voicemail, shall I put you through?”

Audit Monkey, “No, I’ll leave it thanks”.

No point banging one’s head against a brick-wall I thought.

Not to be deterred, and having a ‘never say die attitude’, I actually rang back as I was interested in another position.

Audit Monkey, “Is Recruitment Consultant John available please?”.

Telephonist, “His line is going to voicemail, shall I put you through?”.

Audit Monkey, “Does anyone actually work there?” Well after ringing up twice and managing to speak to no-one who can help me progress my career, this is the obvious question.

Not a lot more to be said. I can only presume the number of candidates is such that this agency is spoilt for choice and simply don’t care.

“Wanna job Love? Dream on!”


1. IT Monkey - April 9, 2010

It appears that agencies are a thorn in the side of gainfully employed people whatever sector you work in. Don’t worry – next week you’ll be snowed under with them sending you details of jobs that you’re not interested in and are not related at all to your field. And if the keyword matches it might be at the other end of the country. Still, you’ve got to keep them sweet as these chumps hold the key to your next move. Happy days..

2. Audit Monkey - April 10, 2010

Funnily enough, this is what has happened. The job market is improving but the jobs on offer are in awkward locations which makes for an awful commute. For example, dare I say it, Canary Wharf, a limp and lifeless place, abit like Cheryl Cole’s hair and Marylebone, which is not exactly a well known financial hub or what I would describe as ‘buzzing’. Oh the other location was Hammersmith. You gotta be kidding me!

3. Audit Monkey - April 10, 2010

Oh and just to add, in my formative days, I’ve had agencies do the key word search and match my name to my former places of employment and their client. Needless to say, when one leaves, it is normally for a justified reason and returning isn’t usually an option, which the ‘chumps’ don’t seem to comprehend.

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