More Interview Woe May 29, 2011
Posted by Audit Monkey in The Joy & Pain of Internal Audit, Working Life in Britain.Tags: auditor interview questions, internal audit, interviews, recruitment, recruitment consultants
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As the two readers of this blog will be aware, my pet topics are dim auditors, dumb HR officers and plain dumb interview questions. Unfortunately, given this week’s events, this rich seam of blogging material shows no sign of abating. Audit Monkey was subjected to some inane interview questions but in particular had me beat:
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Job Hunt Update – Looking Bleak October 7, 2010
Posted by Audit Monkey in The Joy & Pain of Internal Audit, Working Life in Britain.Tags: job hunting, jobs, recruitment
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Disappointed today as I wasn’t successful in being offered a position after a second interview. The reason offered was that, “I wouldn’t fit into their organisation”. This is always much better than “HR didn’t like you as you wouldn’t smile and pander to the HR rep in the interview, irrespective of your pathological dislike for HR officers as they are usually pretty clueless and vain”. Well, at least I still have my sense of humour.
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Quote of the Week – W/E 3 September 2010 September 6, 2010
Posted by Audit Monkey in Quote of the Week, The Joy & Pain of Internal Audit, Working Life in Britain.Tags: class system, recruitment, recruitment consultants
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It is an opportune time to resurrect quote of the week while I reflect on my search for permanent or temporary employment in the Metropolis. During a conversation with a certain recruitment consultant regarding the possible placement of myself at a Top 4 Bank in the UK, it was mentioned in passing that the agency had recently placed a candidate with “a better education” than myself in one of the more prestigious teams at the forementioned banks.
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Recruitment Woes April 2, 2010
Posted by Audit Monkey in Working Life in Britain.Tags: recruitment, recruitment consultants
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As the two regular readers of the blog will know, my current contract expires in the summer. So to avoid destitution, I thought I’d better dip my toe into the job market, so I rang up a recruitment agency the other day to get the ball rolling. Here’s an edited transcript of the ‘conversation’.
Telephonist, “Good morning, Shoddy Agency, can I help you?”
Audit Monkey, “Oh hello, is Recruitment Consultant Doris available please?”
Telephonist, “I’m sorry Recruitment Consultant Doris is out of the office today”.
Audit Monkey, “Has Recruitment Doris got a colleague who I could talk to?”
Telephonist, “Yes – er, it’s going to voicemail, shall I put you through?”
Audit Monkey, “No, I’ll leave it thanks”.
No point banging one’s head against a brick-wall I thought.
Not to be deterred, and having a ‘never say die attitude’, I actually rang back as I was interested in another position.
Audit Monkey, “Is Recruitment Consultant John available please?”.
Telephonist, “His line is going to voicemail, shall I put you through?”.
Audit Monkey, “Does anyone actually work there?” Well after ringing up twice and managing to speak to no-one who can help me progress my career, this is the obvious question.
Not a lot more to be said. I can only presume the number of candidates is such that this agency is spoilt for choice and simply don’t care.
“Wanna job Love? Dream on!”
Reasons to Be Cheerful – 1 – 2 – 3 January 20, 2010
Posted by Audit Monkey in Working Life in Britain.Tags: employment, internal audit, recruitment
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I received an e-mail from Barclay Simpson today on their assessment of the market for internal auditors in 2010. They note that redundancies have been low in the industry for 3 reasons. I’ll paraphrase them here and add my own ‘unique’ interpretation.
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